Kap'lah.

Not feeling particularly inspired to share my thoughts today, so I'll keep it clinical. 

My company's employee recognition awards went really well. 

Inspiration

The CEO skipped an entire section of my script. Fortunately, no one noticed. Unfortunately, the missing part was the servers' cue to parade out with the salads. So I had a full line of servers standing rather uncomfortably with heavy trays of Waldorf salads and heavy utensils resting on their shoulders, waiting for a cue that never came. Small fiasco, but that was it. The open bar was popular. Lots of selfies around the "Oscar" statue and focal points. People wanted to take their stars home with them. I hadn't considered that, so I'd thrown away the backings. The brave people chanced it and peeled the stars up from the floor and gingerly placed them in the their trunks, hoping they didn't stick to anything. I was particularly worried about the slideshow that on-clicked each employee's name onto the screen.

The CEO thanked me by name during his closing remarks.  I'm not bragging, I just didn't think he knew I existed considering how I have to fight him to speak to me every morning.  I got invited for drinks with the execs afterward. Unprecedented and scary. So I wasted time as much time as possible debating about it. 

The "old Hollywood" theme worked really well. I don't have photos of the decor's effect once the lighting and candles were in place, but our photographer did an awesome job of capturing everything. It really was beautiful. I'm especially proud that I stood up to the decor vendor this time. I meet with him with clear goals, concept design and a budget. He spends the entire meeting talking over me and hinting that I don't know what I'm talking about. He wouldn't even stop by to see the room once the vendors left, or answer my calls. After the event (and the CEO's public "thank you"), he was suddenly Mr. Friendly. He went from walking away at the shrimp cocktail station when I approached him to ask about a purchase order to following me around like a puppy dog and inserting himself into whatever conversations I was having with others, But I gave him no quarter for debate this time, and worked with a new decor vendor I wanted to try. And they were amazeballs. And it was about $7k cheaper, including gold-tipped roses and bedazzled rose corsages & boutonnieres for the 74 honorees. The honorees also got $1000 each and $125 gift bags.

So back to the bar thing. I limped my way down to the bar (my feet were killing me) and kind of just stood behind the tables of execs, trying to decode all the inside jokes and roastings, being mostly ignored. I was annoyed and tired and hungry (and my elbow was sore from leaning against the backs of their chairs), so I limped out to my car and finally home. 

I'm glad it's over, but we have another smaller employee event next week, and then California/ Washington/ Canada at the end of next week. 

I need a beverage.

Blessedly filtered. Sans Klingon forehead et al.

Eggs Gone Wild

Meanwhile, in my uterus...

#insubordination

#someonecallsecurity

Bleezle deezle and the pudding pops and the pills and ca-MIILLEE

I muted out the nice senior
citizen who was on my right.

At the best Coney Island with the best coney dogs, which happens to be deep DEEP in the hood.

So I'm checking my texts and smashing the best coney dog ever created and doing my Bill Cosby impression all at the same time, and Phoebe decides it would be funny to secretly record me, and then go from booth to booth to show everyone.

This chick's going to get us murderized. Smdh.

Therefore, I've added a new definition to coneycap....

- - - - - - - -

Coneycap [KOH-nee cap] - noun:

1. A coney dog enjoyed at the end of an evening instead of an alcoholic beverage.

2. To be struck by a bullet while eating a coney dog.

#dead

I ... I just can't.



Best part @ 2:54... "sigh...I'll be dead...."

On Respectin my Gangsta Cred

Getting my bent tire frame repaired at my dealership. The service tech guy is so mean. 

He needs to recognize that my drivers license may say "Grosse Pointe", but my street cred says "Detroit, bitch". 

Imma roll my window down and throw up a gang sign on the way out. Which may be more knee-slapping hilarious than hide-behind-the-counter intimidating, considering I'll be doing it from an HHR. 

50 Shades of Ow

Had a dream last night that I was staying in a hotel room with a little yellow tabby cat. And I couldn't find anything to feed him, or a plate for water. Then I dug a chunk of salmon out of the garbage for him.  That was all. Just random.

Phoebs swore a 3rd trip would relax me.
Remind me to punch her in the ovaries.

Too Tired for a Title

Inspiration

So I planned/executed an employee family movie event for work. Purchased the movie, booked the venue, arranged the food & beverage & floor plan, created/posted collateral, managed electronic RSVPs, managed the staff, and tried to run from some of the most demonic, stinky, loud little demon spawn I've ever met.

I'm too tired to bullet point all those out.

At one point, I hid in the bathroom stall.  No, really. Even though I didn't have any pee left. 

Tomorrow I need to put finishing touches on the employee recognition awards happening next week.

I decided to do an "old Hollywood" theme, so everything will be feathers, pearls, reds, whites and blacks. I also created these cool 24x24 "walk of fame" floor clings for each award winner. Still under the $15k budget.

I'm going to damn bed.

Witness the tsunami-like destruction left 

in aforementioned demon spawns' wake.