6 months.

 

It's been 6 months since I last walked into my Obaachan's room. 6 months. And that was just to vacuum and dust. And immediately leave. Before then, I would stand just inside the doorway and become immediately overwhelmed with sadness and shame. 

 

I bought a rug to go over the weird stain on the floor in the hallway outside of her door. Her room is surprisingly clean.  Her plants are alive and thriving - vibrant, even - although they haven't had water or sunlight in months. This room is even free of spiderwebs and any signs of bugs. Maybe the insects heard me tell my brother that I would murderize anyone who stepped foot in here. 

I see her little bag of toiletries and the tv remote, magazines, her pills, her robe, a newspaper, her reading glasses...placed strategically throughout the room, so they would be in her arms' reach at the right moment. I suppose I did set things just so. Seems a little persnickety in retrospect. Her walker at the door for when she was on the move, now folded and resting against it. 

I sat some flowers on her table. I just opened the blinds and I can see all the crazy squirrels race all over the park. Why so many squirrels? Is this a hibernation thing? They need to move out of my way when I'm driving to work in the mornings. I'm tired of screaming at them. Okay, I'm tired of screaming at them because it doesn't seem to work.