I punched a clown.

 

Standing in line with random groups
of strangers, pre-felony assault

In my defense, it happened inside a four story haunted house. The "world's largest haunted house", Erebus, to be exact.  And I had just been buried alive - they lock you alone in a small closet in total darkness and pour those plastic balls over your head until they fill up the closet and you can't move or breathe. And also, a giant spider grabbed me and I turned and ran smack-dab into a wall and possibly blacked out. And also I think I peed a little crawling through a shaky tunnel to get away from an axe murderer. Lastly in my defense, the clown literally jumped out from the corner I was just about to turn into. He was covered in blood and tried to attack me with a hatchet. I could feel his breath on my cheek. That was too close. And I thought he might be a red spider. So I punched him. And simultaneously screamed in his face, and then said something like, "Now fade to black on that, bitch."

I don't know what that means.  It just felt right.

Sigh. I may go to jail.

Listen. Fight or flight. It was either him or me. I saw him walk out of one of the emergency exits holding his nose. He'll be aiight.

 

#stayinclassy
#filteredtodeath
#erebus
#glitteronmyknuckles