Charity begins on the Holodeck.

Well, my first go at the following paragraph was a longwinded rambling mess. I really need to start proofing my shit before posting. Seriously. It was a mile long. This version's shorter...you're welcome.

I assisted with a sponsored charity event yesterday aimed at supporting the families of teen cancer patients. Each of us had various tasks, and planning the project took 6 months from concept to run-of-show. It was all worth it - even checking things off on a notepad at the counter of a New Orleans bar - 100% of the profits go to the patients and their families. The center played a dedication video to the volunteers all night. Here are the parts I caught with my phone. I'll repost when the full video is available.

 

This vid created with ClipStitch (which is only available 

for iPhone), but isn't viewable via iPhones...

Oh, the irony. Nicely done, Apple.

 

 

My job's executives buy gifts for local kids based on the kids' wishlists sent to "Santa". This year, my dept's exec snuck a copy of the list to me because one of the kids, 13 year old Phoenix, is a Trekkie.

 

I asked Phoenix's "Santa" (an executive chef) if I could help. Okay, it was more like pleading. I stalked him with 4 very unprofessional emails, I slaved over a stove for 2 hours to bring him my mom's special onigiri with wasabi as requested, and I owe him a venti 7-pump no foam white chocolate mocha. He finally caved. He'll take care of the boring stuff (i.e., clothes), I get the good stuff (Trek).

I believe the Latin term for this sort of agreement is "Winnitus of Epicus Proportionalis".

Okay so far I have...

·         Star Trek shirt or hoodie (working on)
·         Star Trek messenger bag (done)
·         Star Trek baseball cap (my stash)
·         Star Trek game for Xbox360 (done)
·         2 Blue Ray DVDs (Star Trek/Star Trek Darkness) (my stash)
·         1 Star Trek Borg Bobble Head (my stash)
·         1 model Bird of Prey similar to this one (may have to be pried from my cold, dead hands)

So, visitor, I could really use your advice.  If you were a 13 year old boy...

 

·         which of these two shirts would you prefer? Shirt 1 - Shirt 2

 

·         what would your size 18 shirt convert to in "small, medium, large" terms? (I can't find the answer online.)

 

·         what other badass gifts would you like?

 

I'm in New York next month, and then Toronto. Colorado in Jan, Jamaica in Feb. I'm still searching for cheap Cali travel deals. Why are trips to Cali more expensive than Cancun? It's so illogical. Seems like a lot of travelling, but I gotta get it all in before Japan (aka, the end of my life).

 

Well, that was random. Nothing to do with charity stuff.

 

Okay, dammit. I'll throw in the damn ship.  Sigh.  It's for a great cause. Gotta support our future scientists.

Edited 11.30.14 for brevity.



 

Painting with a Twist

This is just one wall of drawings.

"No drinking the Paint Water"

PwaTs are popping up all over the metropolitan area. It's a new way for women to get together, pretend to learn/build something, and drink.

 

Seriously. Drinking is encouraged. There's even a station in the back of each room with a bucket of ice for the bottles of booze the ladies bring. And the art instructor will wait patiently while the group of ladies set up shop.

 

They have a Monet painting!

The group leader - usually the birthday girl or other reason for the get totether - decides what we're going to draw based on thousands of images.

 

Clearly, I should've opted for the wine.

It actually is lots of fun. It's a relaxed way to randomly talk to strangers and poke fun at ourselves.

 

Did I mention there's booze?  I brought cupcakes and moscato. I think I've had enough drinking for a lifetime, so I opted for water. 



Holy Stinky Feet-Check, Batman!

Hey, there's a "bypass the line" line. How do I get over there?

#lateformygate
#stinkyfeet


 

Dreamlike

Erm...guess I forgot to put out
the candles before bed.

It's 5am in New Orleans. The tourists have finally gone back to their rooms for the night. Now, the locals come out to chat. 

 

Check out this amazing view. Balcony side and courtside. The office buildings in the distance are capped with fog. Isn't it beautiful? Like a cloak for a Klingon Bird of Prey.

 

I fell back to sleep in my croissant before I could watch the fog dissipate.

So Ordered

 

So we were talking about how if you're super late, you may have to forego a full shower and take a "Whore's Bath". For visitors not in the know (and guys), a "Whore's Bath" is what you take when you don't have time for the real thing. You may be late for an appointment, or just lazy. (Urban Dictionary's version here.) So you substitute standing at the sink and washing the important body parts for an actual shower. 

This sparked a debate about the variations of a Whore's Bath. Specifically, what constitutes a Whore's Bath? What are the parameters? For instance, what if you don't have any water? What if it's a really fancy bathroom? The scope of the matter, if you will. Heh.

Therefore, we, the Bathing Committee, have proposed and agreed upon the following terms and titles as they pertain to bathroom hygiene:

 

Swipe and Wipe

Moniker for "Whore's Bath", i.e., the act of washing oneself without the use or benefit of a continual stream of water (shower or bath), typically using a bathroom sink, requiring yoga-loke poses to complete the task. 

French Whore's Bath

Foregoing the razor & shaving cream during a wash up, even if it's direly needed.

Hooker's Bath

Washing up using the sink in the room of a pay-per-hour motel room's bathroom. 

Skank's Bath

Washing up using wet wipes.

8 Mile Road Bath

Using whiskey or vodka to clean your bullet wounds. 

 

Skeevy Bath

Using another person's washcloth to wash up.

 

Call Girl's Bath

Washing up using upscale bath products; washing up while using the shower steam to unwrinkle your dress; washing up in a bathroom with a bidet. 

 

The Morning After Bath

Washing up and then putting on makeup to pretend that you always look that way.

 

I Just Slept with a Murderer Bath

Running the shower while trying to exit via the bathroom window.

 

So it is ordered; so shall it be done.





Lunch with The Ladies (i.e., "The Popular Table")