I was in a mood.

 

 

 

Greatest Snack Drawer Ever [echo]

Think yours is better? Prove it.

Genetically Lycan?

Back to ridiculous already.


[removed...my mother says it scares her...and she changed my diapers, so that's saying a lot]

 

#100waystoscareyourmom

Does your Man have "Yellow Fever"?

Do you suspect your partner of having "Yellow Fever"? Does he "only date Asian chicks", and refer to us as "the hottest women in the world"? He may have Yellow Fever.

Here's how urbandictionary.com describes "yellow fever":  A term usually applied to white males who have a clear sexual preference for women of asian descent...

That's the nice version.  Here's my own definition:  Yellow fever is the act of some clown...typically an agendaless beta male who can't exert himself outside of the world of anime and jpop...who is solely attracted to women of a specific or random Asian ethnicity based on old skool stereotypes and self-perceived importance. His charismatic deception makes you think you're an individual to him, but you're really just a tiny, broken-English speaking, nail buffing, super quiet in bed baby-maker.

Below are the symptoms of Yellow Fever. Add the points up truthfully, and then check the score card at the bottom.

1. Does your boyfriend refer to you as "oriental"? Does he think you're a rug?

+/-   5 points

2. Does he refer to his penis as "Godzilla"?

+/-   5 points

 

3. Is he a Republican?

+/-   500 points

4. Does he like Star Wars?

+/-   20 points

5. Does he have an insatiable appetite for all things "oriental" (i.e., cultural studies, learning kanji, etc.), because he thinks it makes you-so-horny?

+/-   5 points

6. Does he get a woody at the thought of living amongst the huge Chinese population in Toronto?

+/-   5 points

7. Does he froth at the mouth at the thought of you dressing as Sailor Moon for Halloween?

+/-   5 Points

8. Is he a huge fan of "Transporter"-type movies (white guy saves sweet, innocent, subservient AF from the big bad men)?

+/-   5 Points

9. When you first met him, did he use any of the following phrases: "I love oriental women", "sucky sucky", "but your eyes aren't that squinty"?

+/-   5 Points


10. Did he date an AF before you, and then (while you were in the aftermath of a massive damn earthquake in Japan and frantically searching for your family members, and called him incessantly) avoided you for months, and then (when you came home and tried to reconnect, he'd already) traded up for a shiny new AF?

+/-  500,000 Points

So, how'd you do?

0 points: Does he have a single brother?

10 points: Eh, you're cool.

20 points: Aww, I wanna pinch his little cheeks.

30 points: Okay, wait...

500,000 points: Run. Run fast.


This post is for Iram, who dared me to write a Cosmo-style sex & romance quiz. This is a lighter take on Yellow Fever. For a more serious discussion, check out Mishfish13's blog post. Preach on, sistah.

http://mishfish13.com/dating-2/why-yellow-fever-is-not-ok/

Seriously, folks. It's okay to date anyone of any race. I've never dated an Asian man. Not that I've had 100 dates. But I don't actively seek out men of a specific race. Because doing so would mean I think something's wrong with all the others. And that's just dumb.

Start Up Grind

I met Hello Innovation owner Joey Joachim at Einstein's Bagels the other day. He invited me to a Start Up Grind event he's hosting tonight at his downtown office.

Of course, I drove by a shoe store I've been dying to visit since forever, and circled back.  WOOT.

So, I need someone to call me right now and tell me that I don't need any more shoes.

Really. Someone call me. I'm hungry and my willpower is shot.

There will be food, drinks, a DJ, some raffles...and he was talking some additional smack about building a business, developing a business plan, blah blah blah.

I told him, "Dude. You had me at 'food'."

I suspect there will be tons of beautiful, statuesque bachelorettes there, all pining for his attention.  Fine by me. I'll be the one over by the buffet packing my pockets with meatballs and licking the gravy off my blouse.

(^ Tablet users can't see this video ^)

http://www.eventbrite.com/e/startup-grind-detroit-hosts-joey-joachim-hello-innovation-tickets-10661834835

Yes.

LMBO

THAT LOOK YOU GIVE...

...WHEN THE SKANK WHO SLEPT WITH YOUR MAN

CRASHES YOUR PARTY IN A DAMNED HOOCHIE DRESS...

 

 

I'm dying. I literally fell off the bed laughing. LOL

 

 

 

 

 

Is it Friday yet?

So tired. Work sucks.  Watching Gone with the Wind on Turner Classic Movies.

 

I wish I was Scarlett Ohara.

 

I don't think American slaves were treated that well. The Mammy lady would be killed for that.

 

Why does Scarlett's father have an Irish accent?

 

What is "fiddle dee dee"?

 

Rhett Butler is sooooo dreamy.

 

Also, I suspect he owns a flogger.

 

 

#tcm

 

 

 

10 Minute Oil Shop

OMG. Stop asking me if I need any other services and just change my oil already!!!  It does not take 50 car guys  OMG. The Starbucks sign is staring at me from across the street. Hurry up!!

lol @ 6 shop guys having to suffer through the shop radio playing "Someone Like You" (girliest song ever) by Adele. 

Clears Nasal Passages

Mmmm... Irish nachos...

Stripped

Back to black & razor-layered.

Robot stirs tea

News at 11.

Neighbor Approved

I'm thinking of starting a YouTube channel called "Neighbor Approved". So the premise is that I'd cook a meal, and my neighbor would approve it or hate it.  My neighbor loves cooking shows, so she lit up at the idea. It'll take some persuasion to get her in front of a camera.

 

This was just a test run. Got a LOT of technical stuff to work out...

 

Better webcam, timing, checking stock, cleaning the workspace, script.

It might be a fun challenge. And my neighbor clearly loves the idea of judging dishes.

Yaa, Mom, I know it's on the wrong side. But the pat of rice went on the plate anyway. Also, Doddee's chopsticks. All mine. :p

 

 

 

 

By the way, iPad, Kindle, Galaxy and iPhone users are never able to view videos in this format. Go figure.

 

 

 Edited 04.07.14 for brevity, file reduction.

 

 

 

 

BOOOOBS!

I have no idea what she just asked me. OMG.

 

 

 

 

 

Time again for "What's in That Truck?"

So, what's in that truck, and why am I not rolling around in it?

 

 

 

Previous WITT.


 

Speaking of sci-fi

 (picard asking mow lawn zombie apocalypse meme)

If Thor's "hammah" was thrown to the earth with a strong enough force to create a giant crater, wouldn't an earthquake or other seismic occurrence happen?

Why did Rick say "no" to Glenn/Maggie when they introduced the other people in the Walking Dead finale?

when Glenn/Maggie

12 Steps to my Bed

Krystal and her boobs are spending the night with me because she's a drunkard and I live closest to the bar. lol

She just threatened to take my electric blanket.  This may get ugly.

.

On my Third

Krystal just found out her boyfriend has cheated on her. Again. 

Damn. 

 

 

 

 

Why I'm Team Coco.

We're gonna put his head on a stick!! A motherf***ing STICK!"



#weedspot
#sellinass
#justthetip 
#brownpaperbag

4am? Really?

My sister just woke me up to yell at me about yesterday's blog post. It's not like anybody reads it, freakazoid.

 

So to correct my out-of-context quote earlier, she feels the aforementioned pictures of me in kimono don't look right because I'm not very good at tying my obis.

 

Yeah. Okay.

 

Don't ever Skype me at 4am again,

 

The chicken is pink, and the lettuce is brown.

I volunteered at the Southwest Community Center in Mexicantown over the weekend. We helped folks enroll in the Obamacare plans. The amount of information that goes into every application....you'd need at least basic computer knowledge to follow the prompts. I'm still confused...the deadline has been extended for enrollment...but not really. And what happens to homeless people, and technophobes?  It's really confusing.

Enrolled in school for my degree in May.  I also enrolled in Beginner's Arabic language class. Detroit has the largest Arab American community in the states. Theirs is a wealthier community, but there has to be an Arab American community in need. It won't matter if you can't communicate with them.

I hear it takes 3 semesters to gain a basic grasp for Arabic. Ironic, all of this probably won't matter, since I'm moving to Japan in 2015. Kind of a family obligation thing. I've been running from it since college. And then moved to Florida. I knew it was a matter of time before it boomeranged back around.

It's like one of those disaster movies where the meteor is expected to slam into Earth. You know it's coming, and you sort of know when, so you try to pretend its not there and live in bliss until it smacks you in the head.

A coworker who tried to steal my robot has a birthday this week. I bought him a robot, put it in a box, and wrapped the box to look like a kimono.

Way too much time on my hands.

Joined a few Meetup groups recently. Meetup is a social hub for people who want to hang out with other people with the same interests. Sort of a "match.com" for friendships. I joined a travel group, a theater group and a group called "Chicks & The City". We were supposed to meetup at a museum on Sunday. and 11 people confirmed their RSVP, but....no one but me showed.  Wow. Didn't I look ridiculous. I even showered for it!

My sister made us all pic collages. I wish I could post my brother's. It's pretty sweet. It's four linked hearts made of pictures. Mine is okay, too.  And she got the ages/order correct.

I asked why there are no pics of me in kimono. She replied, "I couldn't find any where you looked right." 

Wow. Ouch, right?

Anyone know about renting residential property in SL? If so, let me know. I have questions!

Okay, I gotta go find something else on the food line. My plate belongs in a horror movie.