Baka.

Figuring out who still needs gift cards. Just asked a friend if he ever used the "congrats on your new place" Amazon gift card I got him. He was kinda blasé about it then. Today, the response was silence.  No more random gifts from me.

 

Playing with sweet new photo app, "Color Splash".

 

 

 

 

 

Stop it.

Okay. Yes, this commercial comes on like every 2 minutes. But can everyone PLEEASE stop saying "S'up, gurrl?" when they walk by my desk?

Stop it!

I'm a sauropod!

So, you know how sometimes you're taking a bath, and you'll turn over onto your stomach to stretch, or to prop or head so you can fall asleep or check the wall for spiders or because you feel like reenacting Open Water so you're pretending there's a shark in the bathtub?

Okay so when you're in the process of turning over, do you ever notice how emphasized and gargantuan your leg looks?  I don't know if it's the soap suds or what. Okay, fine. Maybe its my damn five extra pounds to blame. But the part of my leg between my hip and my knee looks like it belongs on Fred Flintstone's dinner plate.

No more pizza.  This is disgusting.

Onward March

Watching Thor. So the gateway between worlds. That Idris Elba-Jodenheim-Bifrost thing. Is that the typical means of transportation for Asgard? And why isn't Loki blue like the other Frost Giants?

Of course, he meets Natalie Portman when he comes to Earth.  Couldn't meet a normal human woman, right?  Only the supermodels for superheroes.

Oh, lordy... the part where he takes off his shirt is coming up.

Wait for it...

aaaand how YOU doin'?  I'd make a complete exception to my "no blondes" rule for that one.

Ohhh, myyyy...

Blink, dammit.  Blink!

This one goes out to all the ladies who aren't sitting on my sofa right now... 

Consider it "pouring one out for the homies who couldn't be here".

Or paying it forward.

You're welcome.

I paid it forward at Starbuck's today.  To the lady in drive-thru behind me who ordered a tall frappe-something with 2% milk and a lemon loaf slice.

So that's twice for me today.  lol

Pay it forward, people!

I can't eat any more pizza.  Mah belly hurts.

Week in Review (aka, "Photo Madness", aka, "Electric Blanket, Here I Come!")

I'm watching this 1980s movie called Weird Science. So these two nerds make their dream woman and she spends the whole movie trying to build up their self confidence by embarrassing the hell out of them. 

 

Seriously can't stop laughing. The music and the people in the TVs and the rocket in the house and the fashion.  It's perfect. 

Of course, nothing perfect can be left alone for very long.

Buying the dvd. lol @ "soundtrack now available on cassettes". 

Work events were all successes. Final costs were $15k under budget. Woot. In afterthought, I should've used it. Otherwise, I lose the extra 15 next budget.

One was a community outreach lunch for Kids Kicking Cancer. I thought it was important to do this one first. Employees played Secret Santa to over 30 families. There were so many presents that we had to open another room for overflow.

Another one was a movie for employees and their families. Despicable Me 2. Popcorn, pretzel bites, rice crispie treats, brownies, ice cream, cotton candy, sugar-induced comas for all.  Oh, yeah.  I gained 4 lbs. in the last month. 

 

The two big ones were the strolling reception dinner and the "Battle of the DJs" event. So much planning, so many vendors, staffing, sound checks, so many last minute fiascos, so many security rule changes at the door - mid party...so much "why did I wear heels today?"

 

Stayed in our hotel for the nights of those parties. The shower felt like warm clouds rinsing over you. But the tub? Sweet geezus.  I couldn't shake a bug I caught earlier in the week. By the end of the last event, I was dizzy and I felt hot, then cold. The security guy made me sit down and brought me some juice.

 

Which made me have to pee. Try running in heels on snaggly carpet to a restroom waaay down the hall.  Dammit.

 

One of the DJs gave a few shout outs on the radio yesterday, and employees called in to say they had a great time.  That was cool to hear.

It's Saturday morning and I'm watching the Weird Science movie, and then I think Jerry Springer. And eating pizza.

I want an omelet. With tomatoes and spinach.  Maybe I'll go up to the cupcake place.  OMG. What's wrong with me.

So this post is obviously lacking everything but random clips. Confession: It's mostly for prosperity.  I can free up some space on the iphone, and also look back later and say, "Oh yay... I did that!"



 

 

 

 

Her Logic is Undeniable

I so LOVE this chick. Even though she's blonde and blue eyed with big boobs and all the stuff I typically hiss at, she packs a mean punch.

I was going to post a similar rant about A & F after I walked in and it felt like I'd interrupted the cool kids in class plotting against the nerds, but she sums it up WAY better.

Tell it, sistah!

Best part: "America is...frickin...well, yeah, we're fat, but we're fierce!"

Week in Review

Two chicks practically dry-humping the Adam Levine poster for his clothing line in KMart. KMart, btw, like a madhouse.

So Adam Levine.  Sexiest man of 2013. Well, he's definitely dreamy in that "drummer downstairs who only dates supermodels" sort of way. But sexiest man alive? Might be stretching it. He seems very charming. Maybe that's why.

I've changed the blog photo on the right column of this blog. The original photo was me at my 2nd birthday party with cake all over my face, and a lollipop.  A visitor informed me that the photo was sexually suggestive.

I don't even know what to say to that.

But I removed it.

It's now a random video of me whining about the freezing water like a crazy person near my parents' home. Grown up.  I'll find something goofier when I have more time.

Bey's new album dropped this weekend. Pretty slick not leaking it. The fact that she not only finished the album, but had help from some seriously talented performers and finished all the videos on the low shows just how well-kept a secret it was.

She made $8 gazillion in the first few hours, which includes my $16.  Some are better than others, but they're all really, really good. 14,000 five-star reviews can't be wrong. Even haters can't deny that.

My favorite so far is "Haunted". The song has a smooth groove, and the video pays homage to Madonna's "Justify my Love" era.

First of the three employee parties starts tomorrow. I start at 7am so I can meet up with the décor company and Santa & his crew.  And hopefully avert any fiascos. I already foresee one with employees redistributing/selling tickets.  I'll have security with me, though...so BOUNCE, FOOLS!

 

The second employee party is on Wednesday, but the big one happens on Thursday. That's the one that makes me nervous. There's a moment where the mood has to shift from "romantic dinner" to "New York nightclub", and if the lighting and the queue and the two DJs on the screens doesn't all happen at the exact same moment....I'm doomed.

 

Saw this stunning crazy beautiful dress last week and stood there staring at it for maybe five minutes before the sales lady laughed at me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I think I cried. It's so beautiful. I could never afford it. But I would absolutely consider selling a limb for it. 

 

My new coworkers and I have decided that our shoe shopping obsession correlates directly to a specific point in our menstrual cycles. It actually makes sense! We're calling it "shoe rage".

 

Check it.  One week after, we're obsessed with shoes for 2-3 days. We can't turn a good shoe deal down. And our taste differs during different cycle periods. If its during "shoe rage", you'll choose higher heels and sexier styles. There's another point a few days before ovulation begins. We didn't name that one, so I'll call it The Cool Down. You're only interested in flats and babydolls during TCD.

 

So, how 'bout this hypothesis-ness...the Luteal phase (i.e., "Shoe Rage") happens after menstruation. We ("we" = our girly parts) know that we didn't get pregnant, so we start the whole cycle again. The sexy heels are our unconscious attempt to make ourselves more visually pleasing (I also wear more makeup!), thereby luring our victims into impregnating us.

During the Follicular phase (or "The Cool Down", as the cool kids call it), our bodies get all hyped up and snobby and all, "Aww, yeah! There's about to be a baby all up in here!", so the desire for attractive stuff goes way down. We want comfortable clothes because, well, pffh!...by then, we've already nabbed our victim.

It's kinda gross, but BLAM! *throws the microphone down and walks off the stage*

I'm all brained out n' stuff.

Wow..hellooo, random phone files.









 

 

 

Mosaic Tiles

Don't laugh at my hair.
It was a long night.

I didn't care for the "wait until I have enough interesting stuff" style of posting. I continued to add to it while it was in draft mode, but by the time it was long enough to post, I'd lost interested in most of the topics.

 

I installed a backsplash in my neighbor's kitchen last night.  Sounds more complicated than it really is.  Basically, you scrub the walls, glue sheets of glass tiles to it, wait a while, apply grout, caulk the edges. 

 

I used this tutorial and the products' instructions.  

I came back over this morning to sneak a glass of orange juice and take a look at the progress. First day in the new position. Guess I'm kind of nervous.

Week in Review

27-year old former child star Frankie Muniz has suffered a mini-stroke. He says he isn't a drug user and takes decent care of his body. (Although...lotta drama.)

I recently confessed to suffering a mini-stroke, as well.  Like Muniz, I'm not a druggie, and I generally eat pretty wisely. (Except for my foodie attack as of late.)  And, like Munez, stress seemed to be the culprit. For me, some was work-related. Most of my stress was family/quake-related. Before that, I'd experienced a bout of Bells Palsy (the one where the side of your face goes all slack), also stress-induced.

Mini-strokes are more common than you think among members of our age group (30-45). We have all sorts of new responsibilities and concerns, and we handle them so differently than our parents did when they were our age. No one in my parents' families have ever divorced. Marriages today last what...5 years tops? We're like new fiberglass cars vs. the old big boat steel cars.  We just aren't made the same.

If you do visit the link posted above, please check out the links provided at the bottom.  You really could save someone's life just by paying attention to the signs.

On the Holiday...Really? Was I the ONLY person in The States working the day after Thanksgiving??

I spent some of the holiday visiting friends in Ontario, Canada.

Remember the pink lemonade cookies?  YES. I bought more.

I saw a commercial for an app called Credit Karma and decided to try it. Credit Karma is a free phone app that monitors your credit and gives you status updates.  Given the sensitive/confidential nature of the program, I wanted to try it for a while before giving it a recommend. 

The app keeps you updated on your credit score - and all its gory details  - and gives you real time "credit report cards" and your credit history. It also free (good) advice and tips on improving your credit. 

Thumbs up from me. You'll need to enter your personal information after the install, but you won't be asked to enter it again. And the app will never ask for your credit card or financial info.

The Swedes have created a radical new drug program.  Clinics in Switzerland now give actual doses of heroin to heroin addicts. The reasoning is that an addict can learn to control his impulse to use if he uses in a controlled environment.

The decriminalization of drugs in other countries has been linked to a significant drop in new reported cases of HIV.

Latin Americans are considering adopting a similar program to stamp out drug-related murders, kidnappings and overcrowded prisons.

Not sure what I think about that. I suppose that, if I knew when and where I'd get my next dose, it would stop me from doing something horrible to get the money to buy it.  But then, if I knew when and where I'd get my next dose, I'd never gain the will to break the habit.

  

On Paying it Forward... PIF means that you perform an act of kindness without accepting anything in return. The person you've assisted then pays it "forward" by helping the next person instead of paying you for what you've done. 

Pretty cheesy, huh?  Yeah, I thought so, too.  Until I actually acted upon it.  Turns out, its an exceptionally rewarding act.  And now I can't get enough. I'm addicted.

It goes like this. A while ago, my old boss gave me something of value that she no longer wanted, because she knew I would appreciate having it.  I practically begged her to let me pay her for it, but she instructed me to "pay it forward" instead.  I sort of rolled my eyes and agreed to do it.

I didn't think much more about it until an opportunity to carry it out presented itself a few weeks later. In a Laundromat of all places, back when my grandmother was still around. I was tired of carting all my stuff back to my car. I gave my bag of change (about $13, I think) and the rest of the box of laundry detergent to an older man walking in.  He hugged me and cried a little and told me that he really needed it.

And that, folks, is how it works. You do something of worth for someone. If they're human, they'll ask if they can repay you. You tell them to "pay it forward".  It's the greatest high.

I pay the bill for the person behind me at the Starbuck's drive-thru. That would be an easy way to get started.

My favorite pink sheets have turned sort of "pastel-y" after a few too many washes.  Speaking of that, I recently purchased an electric blanket, and oh...mah...gah.  On a cold night? Slide your feeties under the blanket, and you'll probably pass out from sheer pleasure. ("Pleasure" said in your best Pinhead voice.)

You can probably catch electric blankets on sale. This one has an automatic shut-off function, but I turn it off and unplug it in the morning, anyway.  You won't need to go any higher than 5 (or whatever the middle is), and you won't need to bundle up with clothes or additional blankets. 

The Boys in IT continue to do horrible things to my robot.  After the last ransom note with a photo of Robot stuck in my coworker's headband, I stormed up to the IT office, punched Brad in the arm and snatched my robot from his shirt pocket thing. 

Btw, it takes 2 Help Desk calls and a drive-by to get you to reset my password, but you've already decorated the IT office?

REALLY?

I caught Mike Epps' performance at the Fox Theater last week. I went alone. I sat between two couples on dates, in the front row up top. The woman on my right had the greatest laugh ever.

The section in front of my row was a high-traffic area, and it was literally like watching a fashion runway marathon. Beautiful women with perfect hair and nails and dresses and shoes...and they knew it! It was a show within a show.  Mike Epps is insanely funny. I cried my makeup off from laughing so hard. He loves Detroit, partly because we treat him pretty frickin well. (I know stuff because he stayed at our hotel. :)

I wanted to meet him after the show, but I was too cheap to shell out another $50 for a photo. I wanted to ask him why he decided to come to town on the same night as the Star Trek marathon. 

I transfer to a new department/ position on Monday. I didn't write much about it here. After my last class, I pulled up Selena Gomez and danced. No one caught me, except the surveillance cameras in the room. Which, now that I think about it, probably explains surveillance operators' snickers today.

I signed my offer letter a couple of weeks ago. The only people who knew before today were people that a huge gossiper in HR told. Just what feels like a natural career progression for me. I've pretty much been doing the new job for a while now already. The title change just gives me the acknowledgement. :)  Otherwise, not a huge deal. Although I'm already bragging about getting two computer monitors in place of one.  Count'em..TWO! I'm ballin'.

Here's more from Mike Epps show. Part of a long bit about sex & marriage.   NSFW.