Pedestrian

Last night, a blog visitor wrote that my posts have become monotonous and simplistic and somewhat uninspiring (okay, that last part is just how it floated around in my head), favoring iPhotos of shoes and food over prose. 

I hope I don't disappoint you, readers.  I hadn't considered that I might.  But...

Last week I worked 13-hour shifts. I had separate conversations with every front line employee. 2500 employees.  At the end of every night, I sat in my car for a few minutes to let the adrenalin wear off. My mouth and eyes were sore from smiling for 13 hours.  I was grumpy and fell asleep a few times waiting for my car to warm up. 

My interest in any additional discussions was gone.  I didn't want to talk about anything serious or important. I just wanted to shoot zombies on Steam.

This week, I'm planning three huge employee holiday parties with the limited budget of $150k. I'm introducing a corporate newsletter on Monday. I'm mulling over a job offer for a position that no one knows exists. By the time I get home, I'm all talked out and brain-dead.  I have neither the inclination or interest in discussing ...well, anything. 

I meant for this blog to be my trapper keeper (remember those?) for silly YouTube videos and the rare rant. Its still startling to me that anyone will actually anticipate any sort of posts.  But I'll try to come up with something interesting enough to write about.  Until then, I'll try to keep the photo blasts to a minimum.

Edited 11.28.13 for clarity.

 

Happy Turkey Day!

 

Oh hello!  Fell asleep trying to organize the closets. I got mad and threw a bunch of clothes on the floor. I think they're still there, but I'm too lazy to roll over and look.

 

lol 

 

Got a few Turkey Day dinner invites.  Gonna barge in to a few family gatherings and grab free food.

 

Is Starbucks open today?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is is Legal to Marry a Restaurant?

NSFW

3rd stumble of the day. Shoes are decidedly not safe for work.
 

 

RoboCop 2014

New and improved.  This looks GOOD.

 

 

 



 

 

 

#nothingbeatsscifi

My Presenter Thingy Died

It was my favorite one. It had a red laser pointer, dammit. Looks like the battery compartment is corroded. 

Ordering a new one. 

Currently singing a Mariah Carey tune to my dead presenter. 

No, litereally. My coworker just asked why there are candles all over my desk. 

I can't liiiive...
If living is without yooou!
I can't giiiiive...
I can't give anymoooore!
*sob*

Rest in peace, PowerPoint Presenter Thingy.

 

Lunch Appt.

Fries and Men

Twerking Dog

Way more rhythm than me.

It's Only Logical

Let's be honest...Shouldn't Star Trek be the deal of every day?

*$'s

GAH! I'm almost out! Somebody help me!!

AMC Theater

Sitting next to some chick with her shoes off and a giant hole in her dirty socks and stinky ass feet.

 

 

 

Dump Cake

I wonder if I can just dump the actual cake box into the pan. 

#bestinventionsincethemicrowave

Last Chance Surveys

For the employees who were off. 

We got booted from the fancy room to the back of the lunchroom because of a 1200pp wedding. 

Stupid weddings. 

The Boys from IT. Again.

The boys have been busy in my absence. They've kidnapped Robot and have been posting photos of him in various places around the building all week.

To Brad: It. Is. On.

For Iram

I already purchased my ticket last week for this Saturday at 4pm.

 

There are still a few seats left, though. I'm in D12. There's an available seat right behind me.

 

Come! You can kick my seat and throw popcorn at me! Then we can check out that new Black Rock place, and drool over Jimmy Choo shoes at Somerset.

 

 

Surveys Part Deux

Done. 

Finish cup of pink lemonade, check. Log computers off, check. Dim lights, check. 

The lights console is the most complicated gadget ever. Like twenty unlabeled switches!

I just moved them around until stuff got dark. 

#couldveblownupthebuilding

Iyashii

Japanese ESL chef prefers Chinese coworker's assistance with survey language over my translation.  News at 11 on the AMD network ("America's Most Dissed"). 

#baka

Engagement Surveys

es Day three of working til midnight. Tonight, to help employees complete an annual engagement survey. Previously, the survey was done manually/paper, but conversations with employees and focus groups told me that they didn't feel the surveys were confidential. So this year, 2800 employees will take a new online version, which I've been drafting for weeks now. Funny, it took a month to create, but only takes 1-2 minutes to compplete.  I had a few coding issues with ip addy and dumping the data correctly, but alls good now and we're ready to rock. Steady flow of 1400 employees tonight, another 1400 tomorrow night. 

#letsdothis

And that, random visitors, may be the most boring blog post you've ever stumbled upon. 

家族性

I'm Facebook-stalking my mom until she speaks to me.  She posted family photos for a comparison game. 

I don't see it. 



My father holding me - versus - me holding my nephew.



 

Power's Out

Strong winds.  On the upside, my room smells like peaches.

"Good sleeping weather", my grandmother would call it. 

Dead Your damn self.

Okay, that's my third and final attempt to win the weekly Dead Yourself contest.  sigh.

 

It's a cool Facebook app, though. Except all of my Facebook peeps are family, so bleh.

 

When will they do another "Win a Walk On Walker Role"?

Check it. The winner gets:

Prize: One (1) Grand Prize Winner and their guest (who must also be 18 years or older as of July 7, 2012) will be flown out (round trip) via an airline carrier of the Sponsor's sole choosing to Atlanta, Georgia where the Grand Prize winner (only) will have a walk on role as a "zombie" on an upcoming episode of The Walking Dead (to take place sometime in 2013, date to be determined). The Grand Prize winner's guest may accompany him or her to the set, but will not participate (in any capacity) with the walk on role. In addition, the Grand Prize Winner will receive 3 nights / 4 days stay at a hotel (location and hotel to be determined), ground transportation to and from the airport and, to and from the set, and $500 in cash or check.

Me want win!

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

Obligation

A blog post can be mightier than the sword, it seems.

I've written, deleted, rewritten, and held this post 3 or 4 times now. I wasn't in a mood to air my dirty laundry, and I still don't think I can fully explain my thoughts. But it's 7am, and I'm still awake.  Now's as good a time as any.

In the interest of my resolution to improve my character and (more importantly) help the random visitor who may also be dealing with their own family fiascos, I'm editing this post now, for the last time - removing the curse words, removing some stuff for brevity - and posting it.

So a simple statement included in a recent post has caused a whirlwind of drama in my family.  Well, okay, it wouldn't be drama if I simply shut up about it, but still. Drama.  Every day for two weeks now, I've had this burning hole in my chest that feels like a giant wormhole sucking my energy into some other dimension.

I didn't confess to robbing a bank. I didn't say I was pregnant.  I didn't murder anybody.

I simply wrote: "I have an appointment for a tattoo today."

 

And so it began.

Here's how this fiasco went down.  My mother read my post and ftfo'd. She told my brother.  My brother has his own family, but enjoys the high he gets from pretending to be all paternal in the absence of an actual HOH ("head of household"). So my brother left a voicemail message simply saying, "Mia, you will not get a tattoo."

I was raised to believe that I belong to my immediate family under the guidance of the family's HOH, until I have an HOH of my own.  That's a super simplified explanation, but going into the cultural and religious interpretations would take forever, and readers still may not understand.   But basically, to tattoo or permanently mar my body as I am now could be considered disrespectful to a future husband. A dutiful unmarried daughter is a solid (clean) frame that supports the foundation of a strong family.

Now, let me tell you how it really is. I put myself through 100 years of college in the States without financial aid or assistance from you.  I've received 3 promotions in the last six years and "employee of the year" three times now. I handle the bookkeeping and staffing for Doddy's business.  I am honored and obliged by Ototo to maintain our property here. The financial obligations, the home maintenance, all me.  I've abandoned a relationship for my family. When Sobo became ill, I was the best equipped to nurse her. And I did. My entire life was dedicated to making her as comfortable as possible.  I handle the financial obligations for the nihon kaoku no.  I just bought you a new car. I'm the emergency contact for every member of our immediate family.

Am I not dutiful, Okaasa?  What did you imagine would happen when I gravitated toward Doddy's behaviors then?  He couldn't go fishing or work on that giant old Dodge or drink with his buddies or play at that smoky, cramped club without me tagging along. Did you really think I wouldn't grow up to be strong-willed and self-reliant in his shadow?

And how does it feel to have all of your pruning - the piano and the opera and the skating lessons - seemingly ineffective against chosen learned behaviors?

One truth is clear: you cannot continue to feign an aversion to my stances wholly supported by a culture in which you placed me over 20 years ago. And I grow tired of having my sister and my differences pointed out for me.

So, which is it? Should I continue to honor and support my family in every way I conceivably can, or would you simply prefer an empty frame?

 

 

A post is mightier than a sword

Stuffed

If I weren't wearing pantyhose, I would rest my hand inside my skirt like Al Bundy. 

Houndstooth

Rockin' it old skool, yo.

 

 

 

Life of the Party

Can coupledom really be this awesome? That's what I want when I grow up and have to get married.

They're so funny.  I can't stop laughing.  They have to be the life of every party they attend.

I seriously can't stop laughing.

#greatestcoupleaward

Get out of the WAAYY

Deer? C'mon. Really?

What's next...a sharknado?  

MOOOOVE.


#lateforworkandnoonewillbelievethis


Edited 11.14.13 9:04am - added embedded video

 

 



Played this the rest of the way to work. Now stuck in my head.

The boys from IT

Really, Brad...REALLY?

Don't you and Jason have more important things to do, like crash a server or misspell user account names?

 

 

(But thank you for the Pepsi. lol)

Working Late

My coworkers think they're funny. 

 

 

 

Collateral Fun

I recently drafted some sample logos for a newish exec who is starting his own company. The samples were just a starting point, just to see if any of them were headed in the right direction. He's  really pleased, and we're narrowing it down.

My question: He wants to pay me. Everyone always wants to pay me for design stuff. I don't want money. This takes maybe five minutes away from what I'm doing, and it's way more fun. 

How can I get out of it? He's pretty insistent. I'm only allowing him to treat me to dinner after work today, only because we're going over the logos. But I really, really don't want to be paid for stuff like this.  But I can't seem to stress it enough.



Gangsta Squirrels

Where did all these squirrels come from??? And why so many types? And why are they mean?? What happened to the regular brown ones? Now we have black ones, grey ones, white ones ...wth. 

And they won't move out of the way when they cross your car. The opposite, in fact. They will run out just to stand in front if your car. And they're all over the place. 

The old school squirrels would at least study traffic a little and run out when the coast was clear. And if they happened to cut it close, they would go flying back into the bushes. And they were resilient. They would study your car while it flew over them, and quickly leap into the motor or spark plugs or the tire rod, you'd hear a couple of knocks, and next thing you would see is the squirrel waving goodbye as it sort of jogged away. 

Not the New G's. I counted 11 giant squirrels pimp-walking across the streets this morning. And unlike the OG's, the new bloods take their damn time. One stopped right in front of my car. I screeched to a halt, and he just stood there and stared at me in his leopard print cape and his fedora hat and his gargantuan gold medallion ring. He just stared. 

I'm not kidding. He stopped. I stopped. He stared. He went, "bitch, please". He threw up a gang sign, he pimpwalked off the road. I swear. All that was missing was the theme from Shaft.  

I have a theory. I think the New G's met the brown squirrels and they had a turf war. But the brown squirrels were too nice to fight, so they suffered a beat down, and now the grey and black and white gangsta squirrels own the hood. 

Waiting for Thor ...2?

Or is this one 2.5?

Quiet Morning

What a peaceful Sunday morning. Not even a car on the road.

New word: "Coneycap"

Met my homie downtown after karaoke for some American Coney Island.  I never know which one to go to - they're side by side. The diff is, American is more popular, but Lafayette Coney Island sells fries.

Cheap and greasy. This is living.

 

"Coneycap" = Nightcap of coney dogs

 

 

#goingtohatemyselfinthemorning

 

 

 

 



Heart of Detroit

Forget the stereotypes about Detroit - the crime and the indifference and the political drama. True Detroiters are heartwarming, soulful, generous people who'll give you the shirts from their backs and force feed you homemade food from their own kitchens.

 

It would be a shame to collectively identify an entire group of citizens by the desperate actions of a few shortsighted people among them.

 

 

 

At River Rhythm Fundraiser

...and silent auction. This should be fun. 

Where's the food?!

Edited on 11.09.13. Uploaded additional images.

Where's Robot?

Robot falls into candy death trap. News at 11. 

Best. Day. Ever.

I came back from a meeting this morning to find a giant bag of candy in my chair.

#bestrewardforattendingameetingever

So then I found out the all the food made for a cancelled banquet room order this morning is in the lunch room.  

#bestrandomlunchever

 

New boss, new coffee

Starbuck's for coffee makers.  The day is mine.

 

 

 

Creepy Guy...Part Twah!

Creepy guy trapped me in the storage closet!

And you don't know he's there unless you actually see him approach you. I turned around to see him leaning against the closet door and jumped. 

lol



 

Bonors & Applesauce Bongs

My single contribution to a zombie apocalypse will always be the comment: "I like to shoot the zombies in the balls."

#stayingclassy

On borrowing vs stealing

Having a philosophical discussion with a gentleman outside of the theater about how specific elements of Enders Game's plot were obviously "borrowed" from the great Roddenberry with a little religion sprinkled in. Not even just the plot. The tech, too. 

Dude. A: you're not going to win this argument. It's Star Trek. The ruler of all scifi. Walk away. 

B:  it's like 30 degrees out here. I'm freezing. Why couldn't you bring it when you were sitting next to me in the leather reclining chair with your feet propped up?

C:  There are too many kids out here. ...the hell?

D:  Your adult kids are warming up in your car while you freeze to death out here. 

E:   Seriously. My lips are blue. 

F:   Did he really just say that the iPad is NOT a product conceptualized/actualized by Trek?  PADD. iPad. Omg. 

G:   I'm really texting this to feign distraction. Pardon the typos. 

H:   People probably think we're a couple. It's kind of fun arguing with this guy. 

Sigh. My phone cases get me into more trouble sometimes.

お母さんのためメッセージを

These ones?  Don't fuss! I'll ship them today. OMG. Stop fussing.

Litereally.

Nothing interesting to report to the 1.5 people who may find this blog when Googling "crazed  Trekkies with too many cute but super cheap shoes", or "shower-peeing females".  The last one might actually direct you to a different sort of pages.

I was in a crappy mood yesterday, brought on by watching other people. Literally.

Heh. I mistyped that as "Litereally".  I like that.

 

Can I get someone to come over and clean up? My room looks like the Titanic hit it.

 

So litereally, Halloween's over and I'm looking through my Halloween timeline. Not once in the last 3 Halloweens did I wear the Star Trek uniform. That's odd. But I did wear it earlier this year for something.  Can't remember what.

 

Where is that stupid uniform, anyway?  Probably somewhere under this fiasco of a mess.

 

The Halloween roller skating fundraiser went well. I worked the ticket booth, so I didn't get to skate.

Not much out this week.  Enders Game or The Wolverine (again)? I don't like Harrison Ford, but it's hard to take Hugh Jackman seriously after he sang to Maximus Decimus Meridias.  I should take my neighbor out to thank her for my new shoes. I wouldn't mind seeing Captain Hanks again.

 

Danged 1 o'clock bell! Does every US city ring that zombie apocalypse alarm at 1pm every Saturday? Like that creepy Silent Hill alarm, like you just know something bad is coming. I'm waiting for the paint to peel from the walls.

 

 

 

I should play the Silent Hill alarm when creepy guy is on our floor instead of Bach.

 

I heard gunshots really late last night. Well, most nights, but this was a different gun.  This was more like a "BOOM BOOM" instead of the usual "bip bip".  I was too tired to get up and check it out.

 

Now that I live alone, and so close to Detroit, I'm hyperaware of my personal security issues.  I had security doors installed (last neighbor on the block). I'm considering a CWP.  Our Director of Security (who's as Tea Party'd as they come) is taking me to a gun range next week to teach me how to shoot. 

 

I asked him what sort of gun I would need.  (That kinda of stings internally to ask, or even type as I did just now).  He's all "shoot first, then shoot again later. Forget asking questions". I could see his confusion as he sat across from me in my office yesterday when I tried to explain my position.

 

I don't want to kill anyone. I just want to scare them away. 

 

His advice is logical, I think. From this end, at least.  I should buy a shotgun and keep it in my bedroom.

 

I asked, "You mean one of those big hunting guns? Why?"  He answered that the size alone would probably scare someone away. If I had to use it, even as powerful as it is (a nice way of saying, "...even as clumsy as you are..."), I wouldn't miss my target...er...the human.

 

I asked about keeping the bullets or the gun locked up somewhere. A coworker said he does that.  The response was that I don't have little kids around, so there's no need to lock it away.  If someone's in my room already, then the weapon needs to be ready.

 

Yeesh. 
 

This is all a bit humbling, considering I've always been anti-gun. My exbf had a gun. He would wave it around jokingly, or when he was angry or drunk.  But I hated guns before that.  But the platform shoe's on the other foot now, and my perspective is slowly creaking around.
 

My friend and foe Christopholes is anti-gun.  His solution is to move. Pffh. Wuss. 

  

I have an appointment for a tattoo today. 

 

And I have to mail off some bills.

 

 

 



Cup Runneth Over

So Law & Order SVU is on in the break room. 

Guess who's not going back to work???

C'est moi, homies!!!

But now I've just wandered into the accounting area and they're having a Halloween fest party soire hangout fun time. So I stole some food and snuck back to my office. 

And THEN, I just opened the goody bag the accounting ladies are passing out, and ... Lemonheads and Sweettarts!!  

Omg. I'm typing this with my shoes off while spinning in my chair and rubbing my belly. I wish I wore pants today. I wanna unbutton them. 

Halloween Fun + A Good Cause + Skating = Possible Shin Splints

If you're in the area, come celebrate Halloween and support a great cause with us tonight! Young Fathers Standing United is hosting a roller skating party...


"YFSU's Halloween Family Fun-Raiser on 10-31-13
Detroit Roller Wheels
6pm - 9pm
Raising funds for our annual Pre-Thanksgiving Food Drive
Loaded candy bags will be given out to youth, free school supplies, face painting, raffles, etc.
We are asking for a $5 donation upon entry.
No masks allowed.
For more info, call 313/731-2685.
Your safety is highly regarded, so YFSU took the precautions of hiring additional security outside the venue. Women and children may request escorts upon departure." 

So stop by so I can run you over!

Robot supports YFSU