Desperately Seeking the Perfect Wallpaper

Now all I can think about is soaking up a hot sun with a frozen drink in one hand and iPod in the other, on a straw mat in my bikini. 

Sigh. Meanwhile, it's 5 degrees and gloomy...again. 

Second Life Meshes: TNG

I rarely log in to Second Life these days.  The social complexities-slash-landmines are confusing. Most of my favorite old chillax sims are long gone. There's the ex thing, and the ever-present system glitches...

I still can't see the friends on my buddy list.

But I must say, the Second Life clothing mesh appointments have vastly improved since the first go-round.

(Non-SLers: "Mesh clothing" is an alternative way to dress your Second Life avatar. Formerly, you could only choose shirt/pants/jackets layers. It took a while to piece together.  With mesh, there's little-to-no thinking required. You just slap it on.)

lol @ "slap it on".

I was a huge mesh clothing opponent. The last time I tried mesh, it was a dress, I think.  And it was horrid. Avatar body parts were sticking out all over the place, it moved like cardboard, bleh. Plus, the selection was minimal. There was nothing available that I would ever wear in RL.

I even posted this message in my profile:

"SL mesh clothing is like a booty call.  Use it occasionally for a quick fix; use it too much, and you just seem lazy."

Now, mesh is all over the Marketplace. And the fit is pretty impressive.

Now, if I could get my RL clothes to fit that well.

Maybe I could slap it on.

heh.

I don't know why that's funny.

Hiatus from The Trek

New wallpaper makes me want to put on a corset and wait under the oaks for Mr. Darcy. 

#getbacktowork

For the Girls. Well, just the one.

Sorry, boys. This post is for us. Yes, I know this blog only has three female visitors. One's my mother...only because she keeps accidentally making it her homepage. And the other two are old friends from Miami.

But, dammit...I could have a random visitor.  I could!  And maybe she'll stop by to get my opinion on something. Like about lipstick or spiders.

Also, I think I blogged about some of this stuff already.

Whatever. Shut up.

Payless Shoe Store has a low budget version of the Louboutin shoe. (Gents: "the Louboutin shoe" is that trademark shoe style/shape with the platform and the rounded cleavage toe and the skinny heel. Like this. And like the ones in the collage on the left. And my ones in the video from the auto show. Okay, they're the same ones from the collage, but Ooh! Sparkly!)

So check it. The regular Lous cost around $1200 ($700 on eBay). I found these babies for $25 in Payless.  Seriously.  Oh, yeah.  So, obviously they won't last for longer than the one night, but, still, a reasonable trade. Don't you think?

Oh, snap, ladies! Just checked Payless' site. They're on clearance for $15! 

HERE. <--Go! Go! Go!!

If you're a total snob and just REFUSE to wear fakes, paint the bottoms red and tell yourself they're the real thing.

Speaking of bargains, check out this cute retro swimsuit. 30 bucks. THIRTY. And super easy check out. Woot!

From toes-n-hose.com

I attended the National Go Red for Women conference at MGM Grand in Detroit last week. I'm a huge advocate of women's heart health after a run-in or two with the issue myself.

Rosie O'Donnell was the guest speaker. I became a huge fan that day. She shared her story about her recent massive heart attack and how she ignored her symptoms for days. Days!  She infused the story with humor an sarcasm. It wasn't preachy.  While everyone stood and applauded, I stayed seated and let my brain process as much of her lesson as possible. And as she announced she was donating her cost for being the spokesperson back to the American Heart Association, I was already mentally checking off what I'm doing wrong.

We have a blood pressure machine outside of our office. I check it once a week. (Why not? It's free and right there.) I'm always in normal range...118/something? today. But I'm often lethargic, even with enough sleep.

You really need to be aware of your heart health, ladies. "Silent killer" isn't just a catch phrase. My grandmother died alone while I was at work because of it. I've suffered from it. Women take care of everyone around you. Well, okay not me. But women with children and spouses and jobs and craziness.  Imagine what that does to your stress level. 

You could start small. Most Amurrkan department stores and pharmacies have those free blood pressure machines now. And it looks like Canadian stores have it, too. Stress-free. Takes 2 minutes. No doctor there to yell at you.  The reading scale should be posted somewhere near the machine. Try it on your next trip, tell me how it works out.





I'm creating a new blog for ladies who proudly wear briefs (aka "granny panties"). Here's the thing.  Guys are stupid. They either don't notice, or don't care that when we wear thongs, we don't actually like them.  We're pretending. Or we're attention whores who were never liked in high school. Thongs are uncomfortable. They're stupid visual aids designed by men because they lack the imagination and aptitude for basic anatomy. 

They're the pop-up book of underwear.

The blog will be an open forum for us to post our normal, actual, comfortable underwear and proudly proclaim this freedom to the world.

Listen. The sooner you check your man's attitude about it, the better.



Truffle Tease

I am LOVING Maybelline's new Color Sensational line!! Finally, there's a true-to-color nude lipstick that doesn't feel like cardboard on your lips. And it stays on for a while. Four hours or so.

CVS Pharmacy, ladies. $8.50 (possibly less with coupons).

Y/T tutorials don't mention that a finished smokey eye on monolids takes like a full hour to do.  Whatever you do, do NOT follow the tuts that tell you to use pencil liners. It doesn't work. Trust me! The oil from the shadow bleeds into the pencil color and it starts to smear. 

Also, pluck/tweeze/wax your brow line first. Smokey and bushy brows don't work. At least, that's my opinion. But I'm behind the trend. I think the 80's brow thing is coming back. Jennifer Lopez has been wearing the look lately.

Definitely use liquid liner only (doesn't need to be the expensive stuff...Elf will work just fine). And SWEET GEEUS definitely take your time. And absolutely do experiment.  I used this tut to practice, but the darker colors left me looking like a raccoon. Don't feel stuck to specific colors. Try ones that match your skin tone and mood.

Why hire professionals to do your home maintenance stuff when you have Lowe's and YouTube? I've done dry walling, tiling, wall cabinet & curved shower rod installation, shower head replacement, regrouting, and some other stuff I can't remember so far.  All with the help of Lowe's and YouTube.

You don't need a dude or a class, ladies. Don't be a baby.  If you can shove a screaming, clawed mutant alien out of your womb, you can hammer a damn nail.

The plus side of being a woman DIYer is that Lowe's employees are extremely attentive and sympathetic to our plight. They'll patiently walk you through every step of the project, escort you from aisle to aisle, explaining what items you'll need, which works better, which is the better bargain. They'll even talk super slow during those moments when you're so obviously clueless.

The downside of being a woman DIYer is that contractors don't take you seriously. I'm leaving my hardwood floor project to the professionals. It's way too complicated for me. I've left at least two voicemails for five companies. None of them have responded. Empire Carpet came by, measured, gave me an astronomical quote, I told him, "Ain't nobody got time fo dat", he called the next day with a lower price.  Still astronomical, but what are my choices, really?

.

This makes me laugh. 'Cause men are dumb.

Fancy Lunch

Being treated to lunch by the VP. Crap. I forgot. Which fork goes with what?

I'm taking pictures of everything on the down low. I'm like a Japanese tourist in New York. 

I don't understand this menu. Why are pistachios and chicken a dish?

No french fries. 

Or rice. 

Shit. 

And why are there seventeen different menus?!

Geezus god, there are eight wine glasses on this table for two!!! What tha. 

OMG. 

No more demos, please.



No more, please.

I can't take it.

 

I can't look at another interactive screen.

 

Another PowerPoint.

 

Another graph.

 

Another red tie.

 

Another donut.

Take me home. I want my blanket.



On being nice...

My good friend and coworker is unhappy with me because our waiter Chris, from our favorite spot, is super nice to me when we come in. 

She's "felt some type of way" about this for a while, but her snide comments in front of Chris today were close to embarrassing.

It's honestly a really stupid thing to be pissed about. She has lots of friends both at work and outside of work.

So Chris use to work at the carryout counter, but he was just promoted to waiter. Which is great.  Well, my coworker always dines in, but I usually do carry out.  So Chris and I have a more relaxed relationship.  He calls me by name, he brings extra pico when I order the quesadillas, he knows I like sugar on my glass rim instead of salt, and spends extra time at our table harassing me about stuff.

It's what people who take pride in their work do.  He understands that great customer service = happy customer = more money.

And I tip him double what she does. Which apparently makes her angrier.   But he hooks me up. 

Circular logic.

Now that I remember it, she also insisted that I let her give me a makeover, after a few people complimented my suit and hair (ouch! To Bobby pins).

She's acting odd.

Bitches be cray-cray.

I just passed an elderly customer with a thick white beard I wanted to brush standing in an aisle, staring off into space. My "guest needs help!" alert went off and I doubled back to ask if he was okay.

(My dumb co-workers share a running joke about me checking on every elderly customer I pass. There's even a stupid girly walk and and an arm-touch and a stupid phrase that go along with it. It goes, "Is everything okaaaay?" In a squeaky voice. It's really stupid. And I don't do that.)

So the older customer stared at me for a moment and focused, and said, "Yeah...I was just looking at that.".

My chance to practice a little customer service!

So I moved in closer and started pointing things out. "Well, that's the food court area.  See that big group eating there?" And the ATM machines are to the left, there. There's a Starbuck's, also. I can show you the way if you like?"

He looked at me like I'd sprouted a second head and said, "I was just looking. GEEZUS!"

lol

My mailman keeps writing notes on my mail. "Please salt your porch." "Please remove ice from your driveway."

Chinese guy.

I'm shoveling and salting and skating to clear a path for his lazy ass every morning. So I taped a laminated note to my mailbox: "Dear Mailman - My father was also a mailman for 20 years. But he never complained. I salt the porch after every storm. Don't like it?  Bring your own damn salt." I signed it in kanji.

Off to Toronto!  I like to harass my pilot or dare him to do something. Or her. Are there female pilots?

My same coworker is going with me. This should be interesting.

Beautiful Morning

What a  beautiful day.  Just battled the snow from last night's blizzard to do some grocery shopping. Listened to "Happy" by Pharrell and bopped and hummed my way down the aisles like a crazy person. I think I pulled a Carleton Banks. I think I also pulled off the one move with the lady in green on the Happy video at 1:08. Bumped my head on one of the doors in the freezer section. But no one was looking.

 
 
Now I'm enjoying breakkie alone in this small neighborhood diner, watching customers walk in (and stomp the snow from their boots, and chat and gossip and laugh across their respective tables), reading a magazine, and of course, still listening to "Happy".

Can't stop hitting "repeat". It's so perfect.

Et al.  <--amazing

Yay, Valentine's Day!

I *love* Valentine's Day. 

lol 

#renege

et tu, Kmart?

VDay ridiculousness at Kmart, even.

Home of the blue light special.

Really?

Valentines Day, my dear people, is a cheesy fiasco of useless expenditures somehow morphed by the media and candy companies and jewelers and engravers with "love lasts forever" imprints in various cursive fonts into a misrepresentation of the value of love and passion.  

Well, here's a clue, folks. Love does not last forever.

It's a fake holiday. Stupid people use it to validate their fake love as real love.

Second Life partners use it. And cheating husbands. Basketball players. Canadians. Narcissists. Lonely housewives who watch too much daytime TV. 

Here's another clue. Real love is painful and sweet and naive and haughty and unconditional and warm and soul-piercing and uncomfortable and pure and heavy. It doesn't need a birthday. It's all-encompassing. And weighty enough to deserve respect and celebration every day.

I will personally continue my crusade against Vday politics.

I will knock over every box of chocolates from every desk I pass (after I've eaten all the good ones). And I will walk around with chocolate smeared all over my face and my suit jacket and swear that I don't know what happened to it.

I will personally set fire to every vase of roses that arrives through our security office, which is just next to my office.

Oh, I'll do it.

Of course, the dimensions of my crusade may skew a bit depending on the amount of good pieces of chocolate (not the gross ones) I discover along the way.

#bittermuch?

Longitude

And so effective immediately, I will stop mentioning specific places I visit or videos from my workplace. 

Although I'm only aware of two people who read this blog, I forget that every blog gets the random straggler. And the random straggler may be just bored enough to piece together your little spot on the globe by a few familiar landmarks. 

And while I appreciate the thoughtfulness and spontaneity and kind intentions of a random "hello, how's the bathroom project going?", it's (hopefully understandably) a little freaky to get it. 

But isn't...

#arcreactor

ST bday card

Shopping in Kroger grocery store and happened to see something black and sparkly on the greeting cards section. Me being my nosy self , I did a double take at something sparkly and )as per my usual nosiness) just had to pick it up, and...

St happy birthday????  What?!?!  Kroger grocery store has Bought them all. 

Ready for my Zombie Close Up

 

Michonne will be on Talking Dead after the mid-season premiere of The Walking Dead tonight.

 

In a related story, remember when I tried that calf-pump move at the weight machine and it left me limping like The Mummy for a week? Clearly, I forgot about it because I tried a thigh muscle wall/liftoff thing yesterday and cracked my damn back.

 

 

I give you "Exhibits A" and "B".

#upallnight

For Mamasaa :p

仕事に行かなければなりません ....

今の仕事を残すべき...

(別の日)

#ジェットコースター

el Lunchero (that's Spanish)

British dealer guy always compliments my shoes. Every day. Even the same ones two days in a row. 

#thankgodforshoefetishes

 

 

Edit 01/08/14: Hey, listen. It's a close-up of a pat of rice that's on top of spinach lettuce, chickpeas, two tomato slices, a boiled egg, and a tuna steak on the side and garlic bread.  It's not a giant plate of rice! lol

Go Red for Women

Today is "Go Red for Women" day. It's a program created by the American Heart Association to promote awareness about women's heart health.

I did up/emailed a quick flyer about it earlier this week, asking non-uniformed employees to wear red today in support.  Our building will also be illuminated in red for the next week.

I stopped by the AHA this morning and picked up 250 "Go Red" pins...the last of their supply. Just made a cheesy little sign and placed the pins on the front counter.

For more information on women's health, the AHA, and the "Go Red for Women" program, check out Go Red for Women.

 

 

 

 

 

In and Out

Why is a beef jerky wrapper stuffed into the women's restroom sanitary bin?

What the hell kinda salty snack attack parties go on in here???

I should bring Robot in here for a photo. But then I'd have to wash his little hands. 

I'm Over Shoveling Snow.

Seriously. It's not cute anymore. No matter how many calories per hour you burn (440).

I'm guessing 0.17

I drank too much tonight. Nothing's fuzzy. But I'm swaying a little. And slurring sluff.

lol sluff

heh

My coworker's been experimenting with liquor-food recipes. So along with the two margaritas at the pub, I had two "crown royal cookies" (oohmygod), these gummy bears that she soaked in vodka (hiccup!...it's all booze!), and this chocolate rum cupcake thing. I didn't eat the cupcake. Driving home, I kept trying to eat the frosting. It didn't compute that the thing was wrapped in plastic.

I just kept wondering why it was so hard to chew.  Note the imprint where my nails tried to scratch through the plastic.

 

Why did I use my new US passport as a coaster?  I dunno.  Now it'll be all sticky and smell like liquor. I could use the Japan one, I guess.

 

 

 

E = mcHammer

My boss who just hired me turned (autocorrected to "sunburned"?) in his notice today. He's going to work for Ford.

And I can't tell anyone.

I need a drink.

He called me into the office and asked me to close (autocorrected to "tonight"??) the door, and blew me away with the news.

After he practically wooed me to take a chance and be a part of this outstanding new department.

After leaving a position in the field in which I'm most experienced.

And the inevitable speech about me being s shining star and not yet realizing my full potential.

Followed by me having to carry the department (in this instance, a department of one sole [read: soul] survivor) for the next year.

This is the third boss who's left me.

I'm starting to take it personally.

Mass & energy, I suppose. All just relativity...