Succulent Chinese Meal

So I just FaceTimed with a giant red-haired Barbie who sounded suspiciously like my little niece.  Hmm...talking Barbie...my niece's voice...I'll crack this case if it kills me.

I'm blogging while under the influence of a romance movie. Watching Pride and Prejudice (The Keira Knightly version, based on Jane Austin's 1813 novel).  I refuse to confess to watching a romantic movie. So let's just pretend it takes place on a spaceship.

Yeah, it's romance-y. But its also about social classes and breaking social rules and stuff.  That's all secondary. The crux of the story is that rich Mr. Darcy is all stuffy and bound by the rules of his social class, but he has the hots for Elizabeth, who's family is poor, and she's sort of a brat.  It's also really funny. Elizabeth's mother is a trip, trying to marry her daughters off to whatever rich dude walks by. She's like an old school Kris Jenner. And the short cousin who wants to marry Elizabeth...Mr. Bingly, I think? Love it.

Anyway, I love that Darcy seems so boring and drab and proper, and that he's so drawn to Elizabeth's light and spunk and apparent lack of interest in him. The dude that plays Darcy is perfect for the role. Any responses to her are said in a sort of monotone feigned fatigue. But his eyes follow her around the room like a moth to a flame.

Well, it's Keira Knightly, so duh.  But still, I wonder what that kind of attention - being privately adored that way - would feel like to normal women. So I watch him for the whole movie. I barely notice the other actors.

Best part is coming up. Elizabeth has already dissed Darcy's earlier awkward marriage proposal, which he didn't understand since he's rich and all, but she finally realizes she can't live without him. 

"You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you..." See, you gotta understand that, until this point, he's shown absolutely no emotion at all.  And super intimate without a kiss. 

OMG don't cry don't cry don't cry...... DAMMIT!

Sigh. I want a Mr. Darcy who turns into a human halogen bulb when I walk into the room.

And why does everything sound awesomesaucier with a British accent?

Speaking of happy endings existing only in fairy tales...

Yellow Fever is when a non-Asian person is attracted to/only dates persons of Asian ethnicities, solely based on stereotypes and fantasy.  A person...say an ex-boyfriend who left you for dead after an earthquake...who completely immerses himself into a specific Asian culture, and only goes out with Asian women (as long as they look "asiany"), has Yellow Fever.  Short stature, dark hair, monolids...those aren't simply a part of a package of mayhem. They're requirements.

Please understand. I'm so proud of my family and their experiences. I hope that I can one day live up to even a quarter of the respect they've earned.  Being immersed in two cultures, I truly get how meeting someone from a different culture can spark up genuine interest in that world.  It's wonderful to watch a new friend sort of mentally compare cultures that way. 

But SOME guys...they're so smooth. You think they see you. But he never saw me for more than the hint of yellow I would add to his world. I was a national flag. Not a person. And he's still doing it. And I was so stupid.

So I'm deciding what kind of gun I want. This is complicated, and not for the faint of heart. Because you have to actually imagine in graphic detail a possible scenario where you would have to use it.

I don't like guns. I've been anti-gun my whole life. And I don't like the feel of it, or the intent, when its in my hand. But the reality is that I live the right next to Detroit. I live alone in a big house. I hear gunshots a minimum of once/week. I live next to an increasingly popular park area. I'm often out late. I check on my neighbor after work every day, which means walking through the park. (I decided not to blog about the broken glass I walked in to one evening).

 

And I had that dream again.

So what are my options? Move, or protect myself.  I've been looking to relocate for a long time. But every place has its drawbacks.  Denver has less crime, and it's beautiful...but the cost of living is ridiculous.  Toronto has the culture and entertainment I want, but not the education or opportunity.  Mass, Texas...I've checked them all out.  So the logical immediate decision is to protect myself. Protect my family's home, which I've done.

And there's no avoiding why you want the gun. The reasons become abundantly clear when you begin deciding which sort of gun you'll want.  This one shoots a hole right through a person, Shaun of the Dead-style.  This one uses bullets that split up when they make contact, shredding the flesh.  And that other one, you can just sort of aim anywhere in the general vicinity of your target, and you won't miss.

Grown up decision, yes.

But still, better than deciding, "should I go get some ice cream after this baby tears and shreds its way out of my bloody womb and becomes the biggest bill collector of my life for the next 18 years, or should I just stab myself?"

Marc - Friends don't let friends kidnap their iPhone.

So it took me so long to finish this post that Breaking Dawn 1 is on.  The part where Bella dies during childbirth and Edward has to tear the baby out with his teeth? 

Badass. Break the cool code and admit it!