::Insert "record skip" sfx Here::

...when you gotta interrupt your weekend o'debauchery to log in to Second Life and pay your rent...

I am not a Stencil.

Random thoughts here that have nothing to do with the heavy load on my mind, but needed to go somewhere. Three things that are swimming around in my brain in that way my thoughts do. Right now, it "looks" like three widescreen movies spinning around in a circular motion.  The fan belt effect again.  So I gotta get them out, and then the loop will stop.

The loop in my head.
Perfect circle courtesy Starbuck's
amazing coffee cup.

I'm very casual about relationships in the way that I can never have too many friends. And I will do whatever it takes to make you happy.  But when a more personal relationship threatens to expose my heart, I end it. It's too intense. And if I shed my decorum, things could get ugly. Even I don't know what's under all this. And possibly might put the real me on full display. So I shy away. 

I'm a storefront display. 

If you find me in Second Life, don't be afraid to say "hello".  I'm not online chasing guys. I don't even flirt in SL. If I wanted attention, I'd go out somewhere. Actually put some effort into it. I'm not lazy, and I don't have canker sores.

Okay, no, I don't actually know what canker sores are, but they sound gross.

My point is that I don't have a problem actually leaving my home to meet people.  I don't use SL to hunt for emotionally-stunted men who feign alpha stances but can't even get their own shit together let alone help guide someone else's shit. Gone are the days of pining for closeted yellow fever freaks who pretend to see more in me than just the shape of my eyes or my pedigree against the overlay of a 1920s stereotype.

I'll be building. Or at a group discussion.  Or in a whole 'nother window with SL in the background. If it's late, possibly sleeping and forgetting my mic's open.  No, really.

Say 'hello'. I'm right there. And I have nothing to hide.

So in the amount of time it took me to write all that, I forgot the third thing. But hey, and I can think again now. Sweet.

Journaled for posterity.

More Californication. Chasing a cute guy up a hill.
And failing.

WORST PICK-UP LINE EVER:
Guy: "You ladies got all your gear?"
Me: "I'll gear you."
Guy:"..."
Bff:  "Seriously?"
Me: "Shut up."

12.29.14 Dailies

MONDAY


"The Ladies". Always texting,
always popular, always entertaining.
It's high school all over again.

Why is Nick Jonas' new song so catchy? I love how throwback 80's music is popular right now. And when did Nick Jonas graduate from cheesy boy band dude to hot new solo artist?

These things trouble me.

Don't believe me? Every woman at the ice rink the other day sang along when "Jealous" played. All ages, ethnicities. Kristyl and I tried unsuccessfully to hit the high notes and scared a few people.

I brought this weighty topic to the lunch table today for the consideration of The Ladies of the The Popular Table. After much debate (mostly while texting, so they were only partly paying attention), The Committee will henceforth refers to this phenomenon as the "Justin Timberlake Blueprint".

The Justin Timberlake Blueprint

Member of popular/cheesy boy band breaks away from the group and successfully rebrands himself as a hot solo artist.

Step 1: Separate yourself from your cheesy boy band image by doing something raunchy. (aka, "the Miley Cyrus strategy").

Step 2: Your breakout hit must border the pop/r&b genres. Once played on an r&b station, you're in.

Step 3: Your breakout hit must contain lyrics that makes us feel sexy or beautiful.

Step 4: Throw in lots of high notes for the ladies to swoon over. We love it when guys hit the high notes. It's like a singer's way of saying, "I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality to hit that note."

So ordered.





TUESDAY
lol!!!


Best Triple Bitchslap Performed by a Burrito



WEDNESDAY

Forgot to post something before I left.

 

This year was an interesting year. I learned a whole lot more about myself...including things I really didn't want to know. I learned that I'm getting older. My body is changing, I'm growing more stubborn, and my butt is out of control.

 

I learned that I am fragile, but kind. I learned that humility and acts of kindness go hand-in-hand. I learned that a stranger's kind face can hide a heart of hate and destruction. And that a friend doesn't just chat with you every day, or about the easy stuff, but will be there when you want to talk about the cringe-worthy stuff. I unwillingly recognized the importance of financial stability and DIY'ing (doing it myself).

 

I discovered that my want for independence masks a deeper need for protection and security, and my mistrust in things/people that promise them. In a circular irony, the people that promise what I need are the very people from whom I run. 

 

A large part of my path for 2015 is immovable. I can't escape it and therefore I have to accept it and embrace it. I have to consider it when making my resolutions. I resolve to be more patient. I vow to buy fewer pairs of shoes and way more corsets. I vow to try to watch Star Wars, geezus god...again.

 

I said try.

 

I promise to visit the spider exhibit at the Oregon Insect Zoo during my visit to Portland next month. Did I ever mention why I'm afraid of spiders? So one day I did something bad...can't remember what...and my father sat me in a closet. And I remember all these teeny little white spiders hatching from an egg somewhere on the ceiling and gliding down all around me.  There had to be hundreds. I remember swatting at them and crying for my father to let me out. I could've just opened the door, but He'd told me to stay put.

 

So spiders in 2015.

 

Most importantly, I resolve to gain more humility. I need to grasp the insignificance of my place on this planet. Because I want to feel the obligation to help others without regard for my own self-perceived importance. 

 

Ake mashite omedeto, peeps.

THURSDAY

No work today...Holiday Pay Say WHAAA!?

 

DAMMIT I forgot I'm salary now.

 

Took my cousin to 526 in Royal Oak, then we walked across the street to a spot to catch up. We ordered way too much food. Don't you hate being that one person who walks around the entire city with a carry out container like its your scraps for the rest of the week?  lol

 

I'm addicted to photo insta effecting. 

 

Insta effecting. That's a thing.  Don't argue with me.

 

Currently crushing on the InstaCollage app. Not to be confused with love.  Because I'm currently in love with my electric blanket.  Always and forever. Yes, I know those are words to a song. I've sung them to my blanket.

 

Seriously.  Warm it up for like 10 minutes before bedtime, and you'll swear you're sliding into heaven's pearly gates.

 

Even if you're a strong atheist. The blanket will convert you.

FRIDAY

I messed up a perfectly good plot of land in Second Life. It was just right two months ago. Fall forest. Then I decided to winter up.  No idea why. So I'll log on to star and laugh or point or move something to the left or right or pay rent. I'm calling it a work in progress.



SATURDAY

Meanwhile, in my damn uterus...

 

 

 

 



She loves me, she loves me not.

If I read yesterday's horoscope, I'm pretty sure it would've read,

"You will receive a great many kindnesses from the fairer sex."

One of our vendors, a woman, sent me a beautiful floral arrangement yesterday because I helped her get 17 past due invoices paid. She'd already emailed me a thank you letter last week, and asked for my boss's info to write a commendation about me.  I replied that it wasn't necessary, and that customers should be treated like guests. Although I'm technically her guest - my company pays her - our accounting department is a little out of whack at the moment, so I was acting as a liaison of sorts.

Carrying them from our front desk to my office was a huge conversation starter. They're really pretty. I put them on my desk as quickly and quietly as possible so as to not have to explain them, but my boss insisted I put them out for visitors to see.  Which didn't go over so well. More on that in a moment...

I got an "A" in my Beginners' Arabic class, so I get the full tuition reimbursement from my company. It should take 3 weeks to process, but the (female) payroll director says to expect it in next week's check. That's an extra $590 next week. WOOT! That's 393 cupcakes.  Or maybe 575 chocolate bars at the dollar store. Stupid state tax.

Then, I came home to find a check for $149 from my home alarm company in the mailbox.  I called the company, and the super nice customer service lady explained the rebate.

And then, I logged into Second Life, and a nice (female) friend bought/sent me a pretty kimono from an old favorite store.

Best day ever. Made me proud to be a woman. I was feelin' the love.  Sisterhood. *sigh*

Cut to today...

So, all of the managers in my new department are women. Pretty catty ones. They spend weeks  plotting and scheming against each other. It's like watching the Borgia family at work.  I feel horrible for the two new managers because they never see the landmines until they step on them. I want to draw a red "x" over each one for them, but they don't know me well enough to trust me. So I stay way away from it. WAY away from it. I stay in my office, focused on my two monitors, with earbuds in. I go to lunch alone, though I end up with company. I ask all of my visitors to call or email me instead of visiting. If I receive a male visitor with no true purpose for visiting, the office goes silent. When the visitor leaves, they commune together and giggle and theorize about my life. 

 

I get "employee of the year" awards and special mentions in executive meetings and a 2m fiscal budget, and I'm arguably the only unmarried woman in the office who doesn't embarrass herself by acting like a cat in heat, but still they find it worthwhile to walk by my door and make snide remarks about dating people you work with.

 

Another one of those "heavier things" I didn't feel like talking about. It really wears on me because I'm forced to go against my nature. I can't joke with them, or sing silly songs, or prank them. I can't give them the benefit of the doubt, because I know their work. I've seen it. And it is sharp and deadly.

 

So anyway, it's only been a day, but I've been getting serious attitude from those other managers since the flower delivery. Having them on display felt like I was bragging. I could almost smell the spray paint from the target on my back.

 

Yesterday afternoon, I removed the thank you card from the arrangement in hopes of laying low and out of the spotlight (and still appease the boss).  One of the aforementioned managers - the cattiest of the group (she complains a lot, flirts a lot, wears super tight, inappropriate clothing, holds entire phone conversations on speakerphone...even the sexual ones...even with men other than her husband [also a coworker],) - complained that my flowers are messing with her asthma, and that I need to take them home. She laughed as she said it, as if she were joking. But even that is way more attention than I ever want from her. She's dangerous. I've seen her in action. She did something really mean to Kristyl because of our friendship, and Kristyl could've been fired for it.

 

So I took the flowers home today.   

 

But...she gets flowers from random guys all the time. And she wears perfume. And I can't really smell these blooms.

 

Now, I just logged out of Second Life. I'm just sort of staring at my computer.  I visited a popular sim, and tried to start several conversations with the "women" in the room. Why the women? Because I'm not a desperate housewife. I'm looking for conversation, not attention. They all either ignored me or told me where they'd like me to go.

 

I feel kind of sad.

Seriously. I don't know how guys put up with us.

 

I didn't read today's horoscope, either. But if I did, it would read:

"Bitches be trippin'."

#99problems

Sublet Frenzy

Currently in Second Life land frenzy.

I rented two side-by-side plots of land for no reason, really. Except it's a thing to do in SL. But it's kind of relaxing to build up a plot of land and morph it into what you envision. Kinda cheesy, though. But something to do when you're online and waiting for something and you've killed enough zombies for the week and you want something that requires little decision-making or adult-like behavior.

The neighbors in the next plot, an ocean corner, left. So I logged on to find it for sale, and snatched it up while two people were standing there deciding on it. lol

So now, I'm way more addicted. I spend the entire time moving stuff around, adding, raising, shuffling, dropping...

Hey, don't judge me. I hosted a yoga party at my place over the weekend, and currently cannot feel my spine.

Lots of other, more important life stuff happening. I'm sure I'll post an update soon.

Second Life Meshes: TNG

I rarely log in to Second Life these days.  The social complexities-slash-landmines are confusing. Most of my favorite old chillax sims are long gone. There's the ex thing, and the ever-present system glitches...

I still can't see the friends on my buddy list.

But I must say, the Second Life clothing mesh appointments have vastly improved since the first go-round.

(Non-SLers: "Mesh clothing" is an alternative way to dress your Second Life avatar. Formerly, you could only choose shirt/pants/jackets layers. It took a while to piece together.  With mesh, there's little-to-no thinking required. You just slap it on.)

lol @ "slap it on".

I was a huge mesh clothing opponent. The last time I tried mesh, it was a dress, I think.  And it was horrid. Avatar body parts were sticking out all over the place, it moved like cardboard, bleh. Plus, the selection was minimal. There was nothing available that I would ever wear in RL.

I even posted this message in my profile:

"SL mesh clothing is like a booty call.  Use it occasionally for a quick fix; use it too much, and you just seem lazy."

Now, mesh is all over the Marketplace. And the fit is pretty impressive.

Now, if I could get my RL clothes to fit that well.

Maybe I could slap it on.

heh.

I don't know why that's funny.

The Other Foot

I saw Ride Along yesterday. It was really funny. Great chemistry between Ice Cube & Kevin Hart. I don't care for KHart generally, but his Napoleonism stuff worked well here.  Think "Rush Hour" with a higher budget. A turned up Chris Tucker.

So the theater assigns your seats. A couple were in our seats, so they moved two seats down. They moved four more times because the real ticketholders kept showing up. That last time was a close one. I don't think the real ticket holders appreciated her attitude.  Alas, no pre-movie fight for entertainment.

At that point, I reclined my chair and realized my boots were on the wrong foot.

Seriously. I'm like 80.

I saw Jack Ryan on Saturday (which was okay).

Later, I logged in to SL to kill 30 minutes before a Skype call.

I just found out that the ex who ignored my calls while I was in Japan - "Mr. Yellow Fever" - 's girlfriend is one and the same person as another SL friend's undercover girlfriend.

Two shady deals, same girl involved. 

Litereally stumbled upon it.

Like a damn soap opera...one which I'm so glad I'm not a part of. But privately makes me smh with a smirk. Which is bad. And I should be ashamed. But I would've been right in the middle of that mess, and probably none the wiser.  There's a real world just outside of your doors, people.  You don't have to be crazy glued to your chairs.

So, I'm watching The Bachelor, and a contestant explained my thoughts on SL perfectly. She said: "Here, you have to make a spectacle of yourself to be noticed. It's just not in me to be different a different person because I'm here. In the real world, I can just be me."  She's haafu. The smartest one on the show. Go figure. Pffh.
 

Second Life should enhance your first life; not replace it.

National holiday today. MLK. Been working in the bathroom this morning and washing sheets. I'm dying to bleach the bathtub, but I'm told the bleaching product is very strong, and lasts for 3 days. So it needs to be warmer so I can keep the bathroom window open.

Feels like time for a change. I'm trying L'Oreal's Ombre.  "Ombre" is meant to look like a gradual progression in color along the length of your hair. Like your color is settled/fading from the root. So more natural, less GAH!

I used this tutorial:

 

Lives Colliding

 

The new banded dress...

 

 

 

 I've seen it some where before...

 

oh, wait.

 

  

This scenario seems vaguely familiar...