Week in Review

Two chicks practically dry-humping the Adam Levine poster for his clothing line in KMart. KMart, btw, like a madhouse.

So Adam Levine.  Sexiest man of 2013. Well, he's definitely dreamy in that "drummer downstairs who only dates supermodels" sort of way. But sexiest man alive? Might be stretching it. He seems very charming. Maybe that's why.

I've changed the blog photo on the right column of this blog. The original photo was me at my 2nd birthday party with cake all over my face, and a lollipop.  A visitor informed me that the photo was sexually suggestive.

I don't even know what to say to that.

But I removed it.

It's now a random video of me whining about the freezing water like a crazy person near my parents' home. Grown up.  I'll find something goofier when I have more time.

Bey's new album dropped this weekend. Pretty slick not leaking it. The fact that she not only finished the album, but had help from some seriously talented performers and finished all the videos on the low shows just how well-kept a secret it was.

She made $8 gazillion in the first few hours, which includes my $16.  Some are better than others, but they're all really, really good. 14,000 five-star reviews can't be wrong. Even haters can't deny that.

My favorite so far is "Haunted". The song has a smooth groove, and the video pays homage to Madonna's "Justify my Love" era.

First of the three employee parties starts tomorrow. I start at 7am so I can meet up with the décor company and Santa & his crew.  And hopefully avert any fiascos. I already foresee one with employees redistributing/selling tickets.  I'll have security with me, though...so BOUNCE, FOOLS!

 

The second employee party is on Wednesday, but the big one happens on Thursday. That's the one that makes me nervous. There's a moment where the mood has to shift from "romantic dinner" to "New York nightclub", and if the lighting and the queue and the two DJs on the screens doesn't all happen at the exact same moment....I'm doomed.

 

Saw this stunning crazy beautiful dress last week and stood there staring at it for maybe five minutes before the sales lady laughed at me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I think I cried. It's so beautiful. I could never afford it. But I would absolutely consider selling a limb for it. 

 

My new coworkers and I have decided that our shoe shopping obsession correlates directly to a specific point in our menstrual cycles. It actually makes sense! We're calling it "shoe rage".

 

Check it.  One week after, we're obsessed with shoes for 2-3 days. We can't turn a good shoe deal down. And our taste differs during different cycle periods. If its during "shoe rage", you'll choose higher heels and sexier styles. There's another point a few days before ovulation begins. We didn't name that one, so I'll call it The Cool Down. You're only interested in flats and babydolls during TCD.

 

So, how 'bout this hypothesis-ness...the Luteal phase (i.e., "Shoe Rage") happens after menstruation. We ("we" = our girly parts) know that we didn't get pregnant, so we start the whole cycle again. The sexy heels are our unconscious attempt to make ourselves more visually pleasing (I also wear more makeup!), thereby luring our victims into impregnating us.

During the Follicular phase (or "The Cool Down", as the cool kids call it), our bodies get all hyped up and snobby and all, "Aww, yeah! There's about to be a baby all up in here!", so the desire for attractive stuff goes way down. We want comfortable clothes because, well, pffh!...by then, we've already nabbed our victim.

It's kinda gross, but BLAM! *throws the microphone down and walks off the stage*

I'm all brained out n' stuff.

Wow..hellooo, random phone files.